Teen grief group launches next week

A grief group launches next week specifically for Crook County’s teens, offering a confidential environment in which bereaved young people can learn to work through loss in a constructive way. The teenage years bring their own set of challenges and the death of a loved one can have a serious impact on emotional development, say group founders Doug and Jess Donnell, so this group will aim to provide a set of tools that will teach teens how to deal with grief in a healthy manner.

“Please remember, dealt with correctly, these tragedies are an opportunity for great growth and strength; if not, they can lead to a very troubled life with the very worst scenarios ending in suicide,” says Doug.

A grief group dedicated to the particular needs of teens is vital, says Doug, because, during the teenage years, kids go through more physical and mental changes than at any other time, from hormonal to emotional to physical. It’s a time of conflicting pressures: childhood versus adulthood, peer versus parental influence, independence versus being taken care of.

“Teens shun intimacy at the very same time they pursue it; teens use anger to cover their feelings of fear, sadness and loneliness. Along with the impact on their self-esteem caused by momentous body and hormone changes, teenagers are on a continuous emotional roller coaster ride,” says Doug.

“To make matters worse, while striving for independence, most teenagers devalue the opinions and teachings of their parents and become rebellious.”

One particular aspect of reaching the teenage years can have a huge impact, the Donnells believe: the newly acquired ability to think in the abstract.

“The death of a friend or loved one causes questions like: ‘What is real?’ ‘What is the purpose of life?’ ‘Why go on?’” Doug says.

“Combined with their volatile emotions and impulsivity, this abstract view of life can cause teens to participate in self-destructive and dangerous behaviors and puts them at greater risk for run-ins with the law.”

The problem can spiral, Doug adds. Anxiety-provoking thoughts make it harder to concentrate on schoolwork, which causes grades to drop and anxiety to increase even more.

Now more than ever, the Donnells feel the kids of Crook County need a safe space where they are supported through the grieving process and can learn to become “experts on their own grief”.

“In the last fifteen months our community has lost two teenagers to suicide, one to auto-accident and one to murder,” Doug says, pointing out that this is not a problem that can be solved by one entity, such as the school district, but will need the support of the whole community.

“We must take on this challenge to the best of our abilities,” says Doug. “Though my wife and I are not professional counselors, we have over 20 years of experience counseling young Marines through times of war and peace and dealing with all of life and death’s trials.”

The newly formed Teen Bereavement Group will hold its first meeting on November 4 at 7 p.m. to 8 p.m. at the Moorcroft First Presbyterian Church. It will run for eight to ten weeks and will follow a curriculum set by Scott Johnson, MA, and the Grace For 2 Brothers Foundation, a Cheyenne-based organization formed in 2010 with a mission to prevent suicide through awareness and education.

The foundation’s teachings are based on the idea that each person has an innate understanding of the work they need to do.

“If you believe your teen could benefit from this group, please join us,” says Doug. For more information, contact the Donnells at 756-9308.